I love you…I love you not.

Oh Los Angeles. How do I love/loathe thee? Let me count the ways.

There are many things I enjoy about Los Angeles. It’s diversity, the beach, the no winter, the wonderful day trip destinations, the laid-back atmosphere. Not to mention this is the place where I finally found my first post-college job worth not quitting. (It only took a little over two years! Yeah, the job economy is doing great!)

But now that I’m commuting by car the great distance of 10 miles to and from work, that infamous LA traffic is really getting to me. I spend waaaaay too much of my day in this:



I think the fall and school season has made the traffic even worse than usual in the past couple weeks, if you can imagine that. It is a hassle to go anywhere. Anything further than 5 miles from my home is “too far”. Commuting makes me a not-so-nice-person. Me, the “too nice for your own good” type. I have found myself suffering symptoms of road rage. The smog also gets me down. It’s just gross that you can actually see that grey veil on the horizon some days. Not to mention the cost of living is god-awful-ridiculous-expensive. Why oh why is there no viable public transportation system? I would love to take the train to work. If only there were a rail station, you know, closer to my home than my office is.

So, what to do? Nothing for the time being I guess because I cannot deal with moving or finding another job just when things are starting to go on the up-and-up. It’s such a love/hate relationship I’ve formed with this city in the last year and a half.

All this gets me to thinking though, is there really any place I could live where I would be completely content? I am open to suggestions. I’m looking for a place with year-round great weather, none of those cookie cutter built-last-year made up communities with no personality, blue-state relatively liberal minded territory preferred, great job opportunities, nice friendly people, affordable living expenses, low congestion and traffic, beautiful natural environment, a good variety of cool bars, restaurants, and entertainment venues, and somewhat cosmopolitan. Basically I want to move the city of Madison, WI to the SoCal coast. If you know of this mythical place please let me know and I’ll look into moving there in a couple of years.

A friend of mine sent this to me a while ago and it amused me. Thought I’d share since it’s related to this post.

You Know You're From L.A. When . . . . .

You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch.

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

You've inadvertently learned Spanish.

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.

You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a "California Roll".

You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.

When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your cell phone and tell them you're on TV.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.

It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tongue piercing.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.

You know what "In N Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.

You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '05"

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.